Outdoor Jokes

The instructor

The instructor is always right.
The instructor does not sleep, the instructor has a rest.
The instructor does not eat, it(he) the instructor restores forces.
The instructor does not flirt, the instructor trains the staff.
The instructor not lie, the instructor the diplomat.
The instructor is not obstinate, the instructor is consecutive.
If you wish to live and go to mountains, do not advance the instructor.
The instructor not the coward, the instructor acts providently.
The instructor does not shout, the instructor convincingly states the point of view.
The instructor does not mumble, the instructor shares the reflections.
The instructor does not love bootlickers, the instructor encourages loyal participants.
Respect with the instructor - you could have an instructor and is worse.
If the instructor is not right, read all over again.  

Camping humor

Camper Comments

These are actual comments left on U. S. Forest Service registration sheets and comment cards by backpackers completing wilderness camping trips:
  • "A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call."

  • "Escalators would help on steep uphill sections."

  • "Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness."


Hiker's Humor

The Hiker, not to be outdone by AT & Spunky's winter adventures, invited Del Sol to spend a weekend winter camping with him. After setting up camp, enjoying a lovely evening admiring the moonlit, starry night, they were tired and turned in to their tents for a good night sleep with the Hiker having visions of the white squirrel dancing in his head.

The next day was a cold winter day and the Hiker planned to instruct Del Sol how to ice fish while amazing her with his fishing skills. They walked out onto the frozen lake, cut two holes in the ice, dropped in their fishing lines and began waiting for a fish to bite. They were not there long when suddenly WHAM! a large fish hit Del Sol's hook and she pulled in the fish.

Hiking Humor

One day three men were hiking along and came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it.

The first man prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours.

Seeing this, the second man prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about three hours.

The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, "Please God, give me the strength, ability and intelligence to cross this river." And Poof! God turned him into a woman. He looked at the map, then walked across the bridge.