The Tale of Nepal

Poem about the trek to Everest Base Camp in October-November 2011

Guys, I'm flying to Nepal!
I almost shit my pants.
But then I felt a little scared:
What if I face the judgment of Shiriat?
WHAT IF I FORGET MY ICE AX?
Then how can I scribble that I was here?

What if my bank blocks the card?
They are as stubborn as your tank.
But my friend calmed me down and told me: “Don’t piss.
You'd better invest a dollar in advance.
And take it in cash.
What, Nepal?
I've been there before."

I bought tickets on the Internet,
There is no turning back now.
First I'm flying to Sharjah
I'll only wait there for the night,
And soon I will be in Kathmandu.

And now I’m sitting in Sharjah.
My homie is in Kathmandu already.
And here - to the people... Here is the hajj,
But the Hindu sat down like a Raja.
And everyone is watching carefully

But time still flies,
And now the engine is humming.
I sit down by the window,
It's time to fly to Kathmandu.
But what is this?! Oh my God! Mother!
Next to me is a monkey!
Oh, no. Sorry. Hi Fizkult,
A simple Nepali man.
You're just puny and black,
In addition, he is deprived of height.

What about the course? Clouds?
Not really. It's a mountain range!
You've probably never seen something like this:
Our flight is greeted by the Himalayas!
Peaks rise above the clouds.
The Caucasus would smoke in a nervous tic.

And my friend is waiting in Kathmandu.
He meets you and shakes your hand firmly.
And the driver was really lucky for us.
It's bullshit that the car is small.
I didn't even look at what it was.
Dusty and rusty rattle,
But this is not childish courage:
He goes out onto the road
He's driving in the oncoming lane, mother, by God!

Chu, I understand at the same hour:
What is different here than here with us?
Left-hand traffic
But this is not the adventure:
There are no rules here - it’s immediately clear
Signal, spin, accelerate a little.
And if you're not driving in the opposite direction,
Then you are a saint (almost, of course).

Oh yes! There are no sidewalks yet
Mopeds go anywhere.
Just look - they'll crush your leg.
I was shocked, by God!

But, I lied. From the capital
We need to land in Lukla.
And a two-motor plane
A dozen tourists are being transported.
This is where we start the track,
We don't expect any dangers.


But the third day has already passed
And the mountains are a little fierce.
From four to one
The terrible IT attacked.
Bacteria or evil virus,
But the diarrhea fledged.
And he can't go any further.
An antibiotic will help us!


And I have a fever
And the head is like a saucepan.
The miner angrily covers
Unfortunately, this happens here.


But I have already seen it.
Yeti's scalp, which, believe me, is not small.
It's kept in the llama's box
It brings in loot - it doesn’t gather dust.
After all, if you want to see
You should have a coin.

Oh yes. There are a horde of tourists here.
Everyone came here in large numbers.
Japanese, Germans, Australians.
There are probably even Maltese.
Well-fed in face, calm,
And everyone is quite tall.


But something strange is happening!
It seethes, boils, rages inside me
The desire to take the old man AK,
Click the shutter so lightly,
And politely ask them:
Are you from Wall Street by any chance?
Do you have anything to do with globalization?
And crisis as change
Have you been touched? But I digress.
We'll have to go back to the stories.


Friends, I have seen Everest
From special observation places.

Other mountains are like waves
And he is the fin of a huge black
Sharks. What is visible among the white rocks,
This is how I would say about him.


Other mountains are also powerful.
But five thousand people are skinny.
Their neighbors are great
So A's are like hills.


This is roughly my story.
"I would go there more than once" -
Verse like this
Their official greetings.

Evgeniy Makiyan, Kyiv 2011.