Murphy's Laws for Tourists.

Law of Unpredictability:
Everything will not be as expected.

1st Law of the Backpack:
The capacity of a backpack, by definition, is 2 times less than the things you need to put in it.
2nd Law of the Backpack:
The weight of a backpack is always greater than the weight you can lift without assistance.
Consequence:
There is always no outside help.

1st law of packing:
No matter how well things are packed, they will still get wet.
2nd law of packing:
Of course, poorly packed items will also get wet.

Axiom of plastic bags:
It is in the package to which you entrusted the most valuable thing that there will be a hole.

Laws of things:
1. Frequently used items always end up at the bottom of the backpack.
2. The most necessary things are forgotten. Moreover, this is discovered already during the hike.

Samsonov extension:
If you are not sure whether you took the item, then you did not take it.

Bondin-Korsak rule:
Things that you thought were forgotten will be found in your backpack at the end of the trip, when there is no longer a need for them.

Elevator Law:
The probability of the elevator breaking down on the day you left the apartment with a backpack is directly proportional to the floor number and the weight of the backpack and inversely proportional to the time before the train.

Kokorevich's law:
People carrying public equipment are always late for the train.

Border Control Law:
All borders are crossed at night!

Good neighborliness rule:
All efforts of neighboring states are aimed at making the border crossing procedure as difficult as possible.

1st Ginglatt Paradox:
Repellents tend to run out, but the supply of mosquitoes is endless.

1st law of insectoid:
The mosquito repellent you choose turns out to be the least effective.

2nd law of insectoid:
There is always a type of blood-sucking species that repellents do not work on.

The law of selective defeat: According to statistics, out of 10 ticks, 1 is encephalitic, but you will be the happy owner of it - the one and only.

Laws of the fire:
1. There is no firewood or matches.
2. If there is, then one thing.
3. If there is both, then either the firewood is damp or the matcha is the last one.
4. Where you are, there is smoke.

Law of the last match:
The last match always breaks.

1st law of the tent:
Someone else's tent is always better.
2nd law of the tent:
It is and only your tent that has a faulty zipper.
Consequence:
Who said mosquitoes fall asleep at night?

Community law:
The one who snores falls asleep first.

Mattress Law:
The mattress is deflating.

Law of fire drying:
No matter how well you take care of things, they will still burn!

Fedorov's postulate:
A real tourist is one who has burned at least three pairs of shoes.

Skroter's laws:
1. There is never enough food.
2. If there is enough food, it is not for the entire trip.
3. On the last day you will discover that your nest egg will last for another week.

Denchik's Law:
No matter how much toilet paper you take, there won't be enough for the entire trip.

Law of swimming on lakes:
In the middle of the lake I want...

Law of the falling sandwich:
The sandwich falls butter side down!

Generalized law of the falling sandwich:
Whatever is spread on the sandwich, it will fall downwards, choosing the dirtiest place within a radius of 5 m from you.

Laws of the mug:
1. If the mug is made of clay, it will break.
2. If it is metal, it will sink.

Comment:
If you own a clay mug, this does not mean that it cannot drown.

1st Law of Photography:
The most valuable personnel are wasted.
2nd Law of Photography:
The film runs out at the most interesting point.

Backpack theory.
The weight of an assembled backpack is always greater than the sum of the weight of the things in it. There are always a little more things than fits in the backpack. The thing, left to itself, takes up the entire volume of the backpack.

Paradoxes of space.
The length of the path is directly proportional to the weight you are carrying.
The length of the path is inversely proportional to the amount of beer (alcohol, vodka, etc.) taken per group.
Corollary: The volume of a backpack is measured in liters.

Parking law.
The best parking is 500 meters downstream.
The best parking lot is occupied by another group.

Wind rules.
1. The wind always blows in the face (in the muzzle).
2. If there is blowing in the back:
a) You are walking backwards
b) You are going in the wrong direction
c) You have encountered an exception that confirms rule *1.
3.If the wind blows from all sides at the same time, then you fall into the abyss.

Security Law.
The probability of an accident is directly proportional to the number of athletes in the group and inversely proportional to the number of preference players.

A rope left unattended will tie itself into knots.

In a populated area along the route, you will find either products that you already have in abundance, or products that you do not need at all.

The time of arrival at the locality is easy to predict based on the amount of remaining food:
- if there are few of them, the stores will already be closed;
- if there are a lot of them, the storage room is closed for lunch;

The situation is made easier if you have a schedule for the transport you need: you can get to its stop/station no earlier than an hour after its departure. And the next one will only be the next day.

The likelihood of an overkill at the threshold is directly proportional to the crew's self-confidence and inversely proportional to their experience.

The desire to pass the threshold is inversely proportional to the number of cigarettes smoked during the screening.

The art of hiking is determined by the ability to use taken unnecessary things instead of forgotten necessary ones.

Once you have tied and packed all the herms, things that you forgot to pack are revealed.
If this is not the case, then you have packed what is about to be needed.
If this is not the case, then you have not tied the seals properly and they will leak.

As soon as you pull on a very tight skirt, you will urgently need something on the shore.
As soon as you pull it off, you will immediately lose your desire.
The same is observed when using a dry hydraulic fluid.

Anything that can get wet will be wet.

At the most favorable moment for shooting, the camera is in the most inaccessible place.
If, after half an hour of searching, you manage to extract it, you can be sure that it has run out of film.
If the camera is always at hand and completely ready for shooting, then there is nothing to shoot, or you have no time for it.

Everything that in principle cannot get wet will also get wet.

If you find something that is not wet, then:
- you forgot it at home;
- instead of a water trip 5 k.s. in the spring Squelch,
you are making a bike ride through Kyzyl-Kum.

The time spent looking at the threshold is directly proportional to the time spent in the barrel.

If the Eskimo coup is a success, this means: a second overkill will immediately follow.
- you found yourself in an awkward position when, while climbing, you drowned your partner by hitting him in the head with an oar.

About the weather
1. (Rule of the 135th kilometer) On a hike, it’s all about rain.
2. The forecast is correct only for those places where we are not.
3. Bad predictions always come true.
4. The air temperature is directly proportional to the amount of warm clothes you take with you.
5. The weather gets worse before it gets better.
6. Who said it will improve?

Medical axiom:
The very disease for which you did not take medicine will strike you.

Lifejacket laws:
1. No life jacket.
2. If you have one, it’s not yours.
3. If you have it, then not with you, but at home.
4. Even if you have it and are wearing it, when you fall out of the boat you will remember that you forgot to pump it up.

1st law of wind:
The wind is headwind.

2nd law of wind (Zhuravlev-Yudin Law):
The moment you finally turn so that the wind should become tailwind, it dies down.

Threshold passing law:
The most dangerous stones are usually not visible.

Oar Law:
If an oar can break, it will break.

Extended Oar Law:
Even if the oar cannot break, it will break.

Generalized oar law:
The oar will break at the most dangerous point in the rapid, whether you thought it might break or not.

Beginner's Law:
Self-confidence is inversely proportional to the number of thresholds passed.
Consequence:
As the number of thresholds passed increases, the probability of overturns asymptotically tends to zero.

Fedorov's refutation to the beginner's law:
Bursts of self-confidence are observed regardless of the number of thresholds passed.
Corollary to the refutation:>
The probability of a coup is always greater than zero, inversely proportional to its expectedness and directly proportional to the severity of the consequences.

Rules for passing rapids (for beginners)
1. You are not Superman.
2. The best way to pass a rapid is to fence it.
3. If everyone else passed the threshold normally, this does not mean that nothing will happen to you.
4. Never cross the threshold with anyone braver than you.
5. Clapping your hands in front of the threshold is bad form.
6. If you didn’t enter the threshold the way you wanted, then any attempt to correct the situation will only worsen the situation.

About food:
"A tourist eats little, _but_ often."
“It’s not like that: you need to eat _a lot_, but often.”
“Not the bastard who ate everything, but the one who ate the last.”
"More dirt - wider face"
"Technical dirt is not venereal"
“In the forest, every speck of dirt (speck of dirt, dust...) is a vitamin!”
“On a hike, everything is sterile, the dirt kills the microbe”
“Less than a centimeter is not dirt, more and it will fall off on its own.”
Well, and the cardinal thing - “There is no dirt in the taiga!”
"What is quickly raised is not considered to be fallen"
"Who else is vying for the cheese crumbs?"

Camp hostel rules:
“An untethered rope is no one’s rope” (When tying a catamaran with a wooden frame)
“An item that has moved away from the owner at a distance of more than 2 meters is considered lost.”
"Newton's Fourth Law: Bodies falling on their tails are automatically cut off."
And the canonical (it is said to someone who is late, say, for lunch): “The cormorant, arriving late, flies past.”
Trite: “Among friends, don’t click your beak.” “And if you click, click quickly.”
“The quieter you drive, the wider your face; the wider our faces, the closer our ranks.”